Getting Through By Prayer

Hello, and welcome back to StrodeDad. Thank you for taking the time to read this today. I'm going to say a quick prayer and then get to it.

Dear Lord, thank you for today. Thank you for allowing me to live in this world one more day and share your love with others. Lord, I thank you for allowing me to write today and ask that you open me up to the message you want me to share as I write. I also ask that you open my readers up to receiving that message. Thank you again, Lord, for every blessing you bestow upon me and all your children. We love you, Lord. In your holy name, I pray, amen.

So welcome back. It sure has been a while. Between trying to start the podcast, which is not nearly as easy as it seemed, and all the other things in our lives going on right now, it seems like ages since I sat down and just wrote. As a matter of fact, as readers dwindled and listeners never really kicked off, I was thinking of taking a break from writing. It surely might have freed up some time. In case you didn't know everything happening in our lives, here is a quick recap.

Adeline is halfway through her treatment; she has five more chemotherapy cycles left. My wife, Erika, is pregnant with our fourth child, set to be born in early November. I'm in college double majoring in Non-Profit Management and Biblical Studies; seems like a lot, but I think I only have about fourteen classes to go, so not too bad. We are attempting to sell our house and purchase another one. We are under contract for a home we love but must sell our house first. I write or podcast for StrodeDad. Erika and I run our nonprofit, One Ribbon United. Our oldest, Chris, just ended up with a really bad ear infection about two weeks ago, resulting in him being admitted to Children's Hospital for a few days. This also sparked ENT telling him he probably shouldn't swim anymore, which doesn't make him too happy because he loves swimming, and his first job was going to be a lifeguard at the YMCA. And finally, I work full time.

So that was a lot, right? Probably more going on than the average person. It would be understandable, I think, to want to take a step back and take a break from at least one thing. Erika has told me that she thinks I put too much on my plate. And yes, figuratively, she would never tell me I was eating too much, lol. Sometimes I think I pile it on because I feel like if I don't, I will go crazy just trying to deal with Adeline's cancer treatment and all the fear that comes with it. It's not healthy either way, but we seem to be managing it all right for now. I know I couldn't take on anything else at this point.

So why start writing again today? Why start again when you have just decided to take a small break from it? Honest answer? A fellow cancer parent said this to me,

"I enjoy reading your blogs. You see a lot of mom's thoughts on treatment, but you rarely get to see dad's thoughts. I know a lot of men who would appreciate reading them."

Her own son has been battling cancer for three years now. He was struggling very hard with the side effects of the chemotherapy recently. He has so many people praying for him, and I know God hears his name in all our prayers. But his mom shared this inspiring recap of how he has been struggling, and she got down on her hands and knees and just prayed, asking God to help him to feel better. God answers prayers, folks. On Thursday this past week, he started feeling better. It was such a relief to read that he was starting to feel better, wanting to eat solid foods and having more energy. If you want signs of God answering prayers, look no further than that. On hands and knees, she prayed, and God heard her and all the others praying for him and answered.

On hands and knees, she prayed. I've been there before. I've been there more times in the last year than ever before. I'm sure Erika has been too. Sometimes you just get to that point. When you are feeling lost, broken, afraid, or even alone, sometimes you just have no other option but to get down on bended knee and pray to Him. Pray to Him and ask for help and guidance.

Let me be clear, praying on hands and knees for help doesn't always result in help being given. Every prayer is heard, but God moves differently than we do. What we find most important to us is not necessarily what God wills. And sometimes the answer, the help we were asking for, comes in its own time. God is infinite, so what may feel like a lifetime to us is only a moment for him. I don't pretend to know why God answers one prayer versus another. He has His reasons that are not for me to know.

But that's what sparked this blog entry. One fellow cancer parent saying she enjoyed my blogs and thought I should keep sharing to reach fathers who might enjoy them too.

So how's Adeline doing? Well, she is doing good. She has finished with five of ten chemo cycles. Five more cycles left to go, which should carry us to the first week of October, assuming she meets her counts before each cycle moving forward. She has been struggling after chemo to keep food and water down the day after we get home which is rough because then we have to turn around and return to get more IV medicines. They help her feel a lot better, but she hates having to go do it.

One bright side to this past week having to go back was that she learned to swallow a pill in a spoonful of applesauce. I hope we can get her to do it with water eventually, but getting to this point is a blessing. Now, instead of taking all the liquid medicines she hates taking, she gets to take one bite of applesauce and be done. This also means we will have better luck with her next chemo cycle.

Her next chemo cycle is technically five days long. However, we convinced the doctor to let us stay inpatient for days one and two and then let us go home after the third day's chemo was over. Then we will return the following three days, two to get the remaining chemo and the third to get her Udenica shot. The shot helps boost her bone marrow; I believe it's supposed to help it recover faster once her numbers tank.

Her anxiety hasn't gotten much better since my last post. She is terrified of throwing up, she is terrified of getting flushes, and she is terrified of getting accessed. But something new that I'm hoping will help is the "Worry Monster." That same fellow cancer parent (let's go ahead and start calling her a friend because to Erika and I, that's what she is. A new friend who understands what we are going through) bought this for her son and one for Adeline. But it's very cute; it's a stuffed animal that looks like this cute little monster and has a zipper over its mouth. It comes with a book that explains all about it. But essentially, we are supposed to write down whatever she worries about and put it inside the Worry Monster's mouth for him to eat. He eats her worries. So for our next visit, we will feed the worry monster.

But that is what is going on with Adeline. Chris and Nevaeh are doing well. Chris has to have a scope done because they believe he has IBS. I wish there were something I could do to take that from him. It's so frustrating for him because he isn't able to go places more than fifteen to thirty minutes away if he doesn't have more than three days' notice. I pray that we can find him some relief every day. Nevaeh is trying to live her best summer life while dealing with the stress of everything we deal with for Adeline. Those two are so tough, and I know it's not easy on them. I'm very proud of them. They are two of the most amazing kids, and they adjust so much when we need them to; they are very resilient. I love them both so much.

Erika is doing well too. The pregnancy is moving right along. We found out we are having a boy, which is very exciting. Now we will be even in the house; three girls, three boys, two girl dogs, two boy dogs. Can't get more even than that. I will say that one thing that recently worried her was the umbilical cord placement in the placenta. I guess it goes through the uterine wall and back into the placenta on the side, not in the middle like it necessarily should be. The doctor told us that they only worry about his growth rates; however, he is in the 63rd percentile for growth, so he is doing great. They will monitor his growth with ultrasounds every four weeks.

So that is our update. That's how things have been going in the last few weeks. So what does all that have to do with me in particular? What does that have to do with me taking a break from writing? Truthfully I just haven't had the motivation to write. There has been so much going on that, many days, I feel like I am just getting through the day.

I'm sure many parents of kids with cancer feel that way. How many of you reading this feel that way? Do you feel like you don't know where your energy comes from to make it to the end of the day? Are there days when you think to yourself that you can't take one more thing going on in your life? Do you feel like you are treading water, barely keeping your head above the water?

Do you feel like God is putting too much on your plate?

I don't know if that is ever really the case. I believe God is with you through whatever challenges or obstacles you face. I think that through everything, God wants you to remember where your help comes from. It reminds me of Psalm 121, verses 1-2.

"I lift up my eyes to the hills.

From where does my help come?

My help comes from the Lord,

who made heaven and earth." (Psalm 121:1-2, ESV)

You may face trials in this life, but you must always remember to lift your eyes and speak to the Lord. Speak to Him and tell Him what your thoughts are; tell Him how you are feeling, but most importantly, don't forget to thank Him. Sometimes we get so caught up in everything going on in our lives that we forget to thank God for the good and the bad in our lives. We have to remember to thank Him, thank Him for everything. He is with you, and always remember that He will help you get through all that you have going on.

Remember to pray every day. I think that's another key factor. Prayer isn't supposed to only be in the bad times or only in the good times. Prayer is for all times. Job is a great example of this. He prayed no matter his circumstances. God should be thanked for every circumstance because every circumstance makes us who we are.

Erika and I could have blamed God, blamed the system, and blamed anything and everything for Adeline's diagnosis. Instead, we fell to our hands and knees and prayed to God. Once we did, we started to see the silver lining to our situation. Since her diagnosis, many people have been inspired by her faith and strength through her treatment. Not to mention the good from us starting One Ribbon United. God uses all things for good, even the bad.

"You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." (Genesis 50:20, NIV)

The key takeaway is to make sure and pray and thank God because even though something terrible may be happening to you doesn't mean God isn't working it for good in some way. If you feel you are struggling, barely keeping your head above the water, take it to Jesus. Lay your burdens at his feet. It can and does help. Find an outlet, and talk about it with others. I see Erika meeting and sharing with other moms all the time. There are men's groups, although fewer men are contributing. I think that is because we don't like feeling vulnerable.

If you are a man reading this blog or a father of a child with cancer, please feel free to reach out to me. Heck, if you are a mom or just a parent of a child with cancer in general, please feel free to reach out to me. If you'd like to share here, I'm happy to spotlight your story, thoughts, and feelings.

I know it; there's that word that men shun,

.

But if I have learned anything since starting this blog, it can help to share. Get it out; make people understand. Help them understand what we go through as much as the moms do.

If you are just a parent of a child with cancer or a parent in general, I hope you can see what we are going through and find hope. I hope you can find God's love in light of what you may be experiencing in this life. I hope that my words hit home in some way and you feel it in your soul and it sparks some sort of change in your heart. Now I will say a closing prayer.

Dear Lord, thank you so much for everything that you provide us. I ask, Lord, that you watch over all the children struggling to live through pediatric cancer. I pray for the families of children with cancer and ask that you provide them peace in the way only you can. Your love Lord provides so much peace that all families need. Please impart your will on all our lives, Lord. No matter the outcome or how badly we wish we could choose our path, Lord, I ask that it be your will in our lives and not our own. Thank you, Lord, for your love and patience. We love you, Lord; in your holy name, we pray, Amen!

Until next time...